So after 9 years at my last job, I am now the new girl at my new job and it is great and infuriating in equal measure.
I find myself having to smile all the damn time, whereas before, this was something of a treat for my colleagues. It’s irritating (and fake), and at a time when I am trying to avoid wrinkles, this isn’t helping.
In addition, I’m having to be over polite. I am of course a naturally polite person, but now I feel I am having to overkill. All of my colleagues are younger than me, including my boss, and I feel I have to go out of my way to ensure that I am not perceived as chippy or a know it all.
And then the worst thing of all, is that on my very first day, my charming young colleague declared “ you’re gonna love being in this team, we’re the most social, we’re always doing stuff”. Naturally, I beamed, when in fact I was thinking how fucking depressing.
At my old place, it was a running joke that no one need ask me if wanted to go to the pub etc ,and I think I made history by being the only member of staff who had never gone to a Christmas party throughout their career. I don’t think i’m boring (a raised eyebrow emoticon would be good here) but during a working week, I really cannot be arsed to socialise and to be honest, I don’t want to; my working day is long, and at the end of it, I just want to go home.
Also, I have a thing about keeping a clear distinction between work and my private life- never the twain shall meet. This is quite possibly an age thing, but my work colleagues will NEVER EVER be my friends, and ergo, I don’t want to spend my spare time with them (as lovely as they are).
So in keeping with my theme of being true to myself at this amazing stage of my life, in two short weeks, I have turned down every invitation for a social. These happen almost daily, and sometimes at lunch time. There is a risk, that I will be perceived as a on stick in the mud, but truly I don’t give even a gram of fuck.
Today I left the office on time, time enough to come home and write this blog. My colleagues who all went out for yet another team lunch, had to stay behind to catch up.
I’m sure that when I was in my 20/30s I would have felt pressure to sign up to every event, but now it’s so great to have the confidence to say no (with that damn fake smile).
It is entirely possible that I won’t make it through my probation period on account of being a boring shit – but hey i’ll cross that bridge……